(Not my image)

I have never been much of a quitter…

today that changed.

I quit smoking.

At least temporarily.

I don’t honestly want to, I just know it’s the right move.

Life sucks, I am bored, unmotivated, miserable and clammy.

It’s going to be a tough few weeks.

I will survive it. Maybe.

So in short! I apologise if my ramblings are a touch darker

Love and light and apologies

Lady Hel

#smoking #iquit #myquitbuddy #sweetnicotine #trying #needtodoit #smoke #movingforward


Christmas (it’s happening)

So! It’s Christmas, well it’s December which essentially means it’s Christmas!

So as not to spam the living daylights out of everyone! Here is my weekly December wrap up (it’s punny and you know it).

Zelf elf!

This guy flew into the family again, he has been around for a few years as our obligatory shelf sitter and he is worth every moment of sleep lost to the following thoughts “oh shit the elf” and my personal favourite “what the f-bomb am I going to do with him now?”. The small humans in my life scramble around each morning and take such great delight in seeing what he gets up too. That’s the magic of Christmas… happy kids.

Advent Calendar

My mother made me this for the little ones, I love it, I swore it was so much better that the chocolate variety and I would never just fill it up with chocolate but here we are, I’m definitely not at my most organised this year.

The tree! The tree!

As everyone knows one of the most important things about Christmas is the tree, well as anyone who knows me will tell you, I am a little bit different, so this years tree suits me perfectly!

There has already been so much more, carols in a historic village, rsl Christmas parties! Community spirit is high!

This week we will be heading to our local Santa fair, more carols, completing cards and sending them🤞🏻, organising gifts for kindy pals and teachers and getting slightly more prepared for the season…

Watch this space…

Peace, light and mistletoe

Lady Hel

#christmas #elfonashelf #elfontheshelf #nottheordinaryelf #christmastree #elf #family #seasonsgreetings #christmas2018 #love

JUNK Southbank review

So for my first restaurant review I was intent on making it simple for myself! So I chose probably the best Asian street food inspired restaurant I know! Junk is my go to every time I am in Southbank and it never disappoints! This visit was no different!


Junk is delightful, from its edgy but remeniscent soundtrack to the soft yellow lighting, it screams “come eat here” the viewing window to the kitchen is comforting and I am a sucker for being able to see the heat of the kitchen. The tables are simple and effective and the table number spin drums are a clever touch. The wall art is an Asian pop art fusion, it is clever and eye catching, it also makes for a great photo background.

Staff and service

From our first look at the door menu we were welcomed! A staff member attended to us within seconds, he was neat, polite and knowledgeable in regards to the menu. He gave sound advice and seemed genuinely interested in the goings on of the JUNK kitchen. We proceeded to order dishes and drinks and select a table. From then the service was quick, drinks were served almost instantaneously, food was within 15 minutes. Everyone seemed so happy to be there and we were consistently served attentively. I honestly couldn’t speak more highly of the level of professionalism in this establishment.

The food

The price was reasonable and the quality excellent! We selected three dishes and all of them were exemplary, they were tasty, well executed and visually appealing.

Our first dish was Kaarage chicken, it was crunchy on the outside and succulent on the inside just as it should be! It was served piping hot and fresh and was everything I could of hoped for and more!

Next was the Katsu Bao! This is a regular favourite for me and is always en pointe! This photo doesn’t do it justice, it is just perfect and the consistency every time I eat it has won this dish a special place in my heart! Soft folded pillow buns stuffed with crunchy sumptuous chicken pieces on a bed of kimchi with world famous JUNK sauce! Magnifico!

The third dish was actually the standout of the day! It was something I hadn’t tried at JUNK and I believe a new special menu item, it was outstanding!

Meet the chicken chow mein JUNK bowl.

From the first look I was impressed! It was a sizeable serving and the smell was intoxicating! The chicken was super flavoursome and the overall flavour of the dish was complex and beautiful. The veggies were stir fried to perfection and the rice was great. The standout of this dish however was the crunch element! Oh my stars I swear! Hand me over all of those crispy crunchy cashews and fried egg noodles! Aaaaaammmmaaaazing!

So overall an incredibly enjoyable experience as always! JUNK is an asset to Southbank and well worth the effort if you are ever in Brisbane! Great job guys you have outdone yourselves

JUNK I give you 🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 5/5 helephants

Peace, love and light

Lady Hel

#food #foodblog #foodreview #foodie #foodporn #eats #helephants #JUNK #myfirstfoodreview #ilovefood #foodculture #critic #foodcritic #yum

Ezekiel and Terra (18+)

Terra smiled, the sun shining down on her soft face as her head lolled back drinking in its energy. She rested on her elbows, the grass tickled her bare skin and she shifted playfully onto her side letting her top fall open just a little as she closed her eyes lost in the chords Zeke was strumming on his guitar. After quite a time she rolled over to face him and roll a joint. She gazed into his ice blue eyes as he gazed up at the clouds, his sweet soulful voice filling her head with serenity. His black hair shone in the sun and his smile shone through even as he sang, it was almost as if he smiled with his voice. The song he sang was so soulful yet so hopeful, it really moved her. A tear pooled in the corner of her eye and he stopped playing almost immediately and put down the guitar, it was as if he had been snapped from a trance, he leaned over and caught her tear. She lit the joint and smiled at him, dragging heavily she thought again of the beautiful song, picked up the guitar and handed it back to him and after another drag she handed on the joint as well.

When he had, had a few drags he leant back again and resumed his tune, once again she was mezmerised. They sat for many hours like this, him playing, her smoking and adoring his playing, watching the sun go down in their pretty little park. As the sun finally disappeared from the Sky a shiver ran through Terra’s body and Zeke wrapped his arms around her to warm her, They sat stoned and pondering the ways of the world further into the night until the cold turned bitter and it was time to head home.

Zeke stood up first stretching and letting out an almighty yawn, his shirt lifting up and showing his belly button, then he grabbed Terra’s hands and pulled her roughly to her feet catching her around the waist as she stumbled unsteadily.. They walked back through the shadows of the dark park and chatted meaningfully until they reached the road between there two houses where they hugged and parted company. Terra walked up the hill and thought for a long while about how amazing the world could be, Zeke’s music still playing in her ears and when she arrived at her door she sat outside and smoked a ciggarette slowly and quietly before turning in. She didn’t really feel like heading into the lions den just yet and she didn’t really know who was home and in what mood she would find them.

she took a deep breath before placing the keys in the door and pushing the door open just a crack. As she opened it she saw a crystal vase collide with the wall inches from her head and with that she pulled it shut again and sat back on her bench pulling her knees up under her jumper. Her happy little stoned illusion shattered. She sat listening to the ear splitting row going on inside tears flooding down her face, when her father came out and sat with her handing her a glass of wine. His forehead was bleeding and he looked alot older than she remembered, wrinkles were appearing in places that she had never noticed and the peppering of his hair seemed to be getting greyer by the day, it was obvious that he didn’t know how much more he could handle. Terra loved her mother and father very much but she hated the fact that he was too moral too stand up to her. He just raved and yelled and let her go as she stood there hitting, kicking and throwing things at him, she was such a psycho bitch. Her father sat in silence pressing the damp cloth to his head, throwing her a tissue he said “straighten up missy, im ok, your ok and mum’s probably halfway through another bottle in there drowning her sorrows, whatever they might be today, i cant tell, most of the abuse she hurled my way today was relatively incoherant.” Terra knew this was just his was of making light of the situation for his and her sake. It wasn’t working, but she humoured him in her response “another bottle? which one is she up to now twelve?” she replied with a failed attempt at a smile, it ended up looking more like a bitter smirk. he smiled back, sincerely though, appreciating the maturity he was seeing in his little girl, one minute shes stll got training wheels on, the next shes riding rings around me, was all he could think. He got up and walked inside, it was only minutes before she stubbed out her smoke and followed. They were right… amongst the carnage sat her mother, glass of red in hand surrounded by the new dinner set that appeared to have been used as some sort of frisbee like missile collection, crying into her wine.

She shook her head in resignation, lifted her sad eyes and rested them on her mother’s face. She couldn’t deal with this right now so she continued up to her room to curl up into a ball and die before her mother could speak. As she went she wandered past her parents room cautiously, hoping to avoid another barage of half hearted comedy when she noticed him packing. well it was on for young and old then, she ran in all guns blazing, “you gutless piece of shit, you stick around for this long, give me false hope that your not going to leave, let me think everythings ok then you just fuck off? your just like the rest of them, your as bad as her, different maybe but just as bad.” She screamed, she barely breathed, she was livid, years of bottled emotions came flying out of her mouth as she finally let him know how she felt, and the torrent didn’t end there, finally she gulped some air while choking back sobs and continued, her voice shaking with fury, “and you think leaving is the big man thing to do? its only because your too fucking soft to stand up to her, or anyone for that matter, i’m a teenager and you won’t even stand up to me, what kind of person do you think you are, fuck it, I’m glad your leaving, just go”. and with that she turned to walk out till he grabbed her by the shoulder turning her around and slapped her hard across the face, the sting biting into the flesh of her cheek dazzling her for a second then before he could apologise she picked up her wallet, phone and smokes and ran. down the stairs, out the door and out onto the road. She stopped at the park, collapsing onto the bench and all she could do was hyperventilate till she felt a hand on her shoulder, then she stopped breathing all together. She didn’t even have the energy to turn her head, she was also frozen in fear, but as she opened her eyes to the figure in front of her she realised it was Zeke and she fell forward off the bench into his awaiting arms. She sobbed for a good hour and he comforted her until finally the tears ran dry and she found her voice again. As she pressed her damp face into his chest soaking his shirt he sat against the chair and cradled her tiny body in his arms, it was then he realised he had never really seen her cry properly before. As she rose her head she gazed at him and asked him how he had managed to find her, All he could say was that he had known She needed him and he had intended to stop for a smoke on the way to check in on her when he found her in the park, She hadn’t needed to ask why he hadn’t just called, he never had credit and why call when you live just down the road from someone. Zeke and Terra had grown up together, He knew her family had issues and she knew he was one of the lucky ones, so when he had finished consoling her and before he even asked what was up he picked her up and threw her onto his back, sparking up a joint he headed towards home. When they got to his place she had calmed down enough to face his parents but when they walked through the door there was nobody in sight, there was only two steaming mugs of hot choclate, a plate of tim tam’s and a note writtin on delicate lemon coloured paper in the most exquisite handwriting Terra had ever seen, it read:

Darling Zeke,

You left in such a rush that i had no time to check what was wrong, I assume it is something to do with Terra as when i walked Tex an hour ago there seemed to be a little bit of commotion from her house. I thought you pair might need a little privacy and hot chocolate always soothes the soul. Terra is welcome to stay as long as she likes and i have made your bed up and tidied your room a little. I hope all is ok, I’ll see you both for breakfast in the morning.

Love you both,


The sweetness of the note nearly burst the dam’s terra had put in place unleashing the flood waters once again but she managed to stop herself, She took a large mouthful of hot chocolate instead and closed her eyes to fully appreciate the sweet sensation that was flooding her insides. They walked out to the balcony for a smoke and it was there that Terra told him everything that had happened. For a second when she told him about the slap she thought she saw a flicker of rage across his always serene blue eyes but as quickly as it had come it had disappeared. Then with a slightly strained evenness to his voice he promised her that she was always welcome with him and his family. As childhood playmates his parents had become quite fond of her and through her troubled teenage years they had always been there as a second family, often treating her better than her own.

She yawned loudly and realised that the adrenaline had finally stopped coursing through her veins and she was tired. Zeke noticed and ushered her upstairs to his room. When they got there they laid in his bed and talked. Most people didn’t understand them, all they needed was each other, they had enough conversations that they could have with each other that they never really ran out of things too talk about. They were more than friends, they were soulmates, and the best thing was that up till this moment it had remained completely innocent, it was as if they were the air that each other breathed. There constant chatter soon droned out too the odd sentence and response, they fell asleep holding each others hands as if they would never let go. They awoke the next morning, their hands still encased in one anothers, Zeke woke first but he didn’t dare move and upset the perfect peaceful look on Terra’s face, she awoke soon after anyhow and yawned, he always thought she was cute when she yawned, she kind of reminded him of a sleepy puppy.

She rolled over and looked at him smiling then it was as if the memories of the night before all of a sudden flooded her concious thought and the light went out of her eyes instantaneously. He pulled her into a tight hug then headed to the bathroom, she lay back on the pillows and jammed her eyes shut hoping to escape conciousness once more. It was no use, she was up now, she might as well be productive.

She hopped out of bed and headed to the kitchen expecting to make breakfast and loving the fact that she didn’t have uni on this sensationally sunny saturday morning. She got down the stairs and the house was full of the smell of pancakes and bacon, she looked on the bench and there were literally platters of food covering the bench, she should have known, Zeke’s mum always went all out when she stayed over. Zeke cruised down the stairs and rolled his eyes at the massive breakfast in front of them and thats when they both noticed another note. Zeke read it alloud to her:

“Dear Zeke and Terra,

Breakfast is on the bench”

well evidently he said in a matter of fact tone of voice, then he continued “We have gone sailing for the day and weather permitting probably won’t be home till some time late in the evening depending how many scotch’s your father decides to have at the yacht club. This means you have free reign of the house, so behave.

p.s Terra sweetie, if you need to call anyone you are welcome to use the phone remember Mikasa sukasa darling.

p.p.s Love you both xx”

he made a vommiting noise soon after finishing and Terra gave him a hearty punch in the arm. She covered well as a hint of a tear welled in the corner of her eye, she wasn’t going to let him see her cry again.

He dug into the food like a typical growing young person and before she could finish a pancake he had demolished most of the bounty that had previously laid before them. She nibblede a little more but had to admit that she wasn’t really that hungry so when he was done scoffing she was glad to have him back from foodland and they sat together on the balcony for a ciggarette. They could see everything from there, far better than her crappy little fibro shack where the only view was the back of the local water tank. From his house you felt like you might as well be able to dive straight over the balcony and into the ocean. They had tried it together as kids but all they had managed was a few broken bones each.

They hadn’t been that different from most kid’s really, they had so desperately wanted to fly. She embraced the morning and managed to convince Zeke to play her some music, it was one of the few things that made her feel like that again, it made her heart soar and when she closed her eyes she was sure she was flying with it, he never hit a wrong note, she wouldn’t have cared if he did, everything he played sounded perfect to her. He casually jogged upstairs and grabbed his guitar then bounded back down and plonked down next to her. He played for hours, he started with a few folkish tunes that she didn’t really recognise but she was glad to just let the notes wash across her like the waves on the beach beyond them washed over the sand. Then he began to play all her favourites, growing up together most of her favourites were his also and he knew exactly what to play to make her smile. The sun rose high over the roof and was on a steady descent towards the horizon behind them when she leaned over and kissed him, almost playfully on the cheek, it had taken her 17 years of knowing him to get the courage to do that, it was as if losing her family had also encouraged her to lose her inhibitions completely, he smiled at her but didn’t reciprocate the kiss, instead he just went on playing m and she was completely in the dark about how he felt.

She swore she had felt a spark as her lips had hit his cheek but she couldn’t really be sure, all she knew was she had never felt anything like it before. He played on and she yawned as the sun steadilly lowered to the ground then out of nowhere he turned his head toward her. Slowly there faces moved together and there lips met, she felt the spark again but this time as they connected it was more like an electric current running full circle between them, it was as if he had completed her circuit. They kissed for what felt like merely a moment but as they lay snuggled into each others arms an impending drama awaited them.

The garage door opened, his parents were home but as the voices crept towards them they heard a third unmistakable voice, it was her father. She couldn’t deal with it, she began to shake uncontrollably. Zeke looked at her with a passion in his eyes that could only be described as a bizarre combination of mixed emotions, he appeared to be angry but also protective and as his fight or flight mechanism set in he grabbed her hand and ran with her barefoot down the back steps, he was sure they had been heard, if they had been he could think of only one place they could go and with a guitar in hand it proved a little trickier than he had expected.

As they ran through the dense scrub at the edge of the beach the sticks and stones dug into there feet, however they were both so intent on running that neither of them had a chance to complain. Soon they hit a rock face, she was petrified of heights so when he grabbed her hand and pulled her around onto an almost invisible ledge she yelped in fear and dug her nails into his hand, he told her that if she trusted him she would hold on tight and walk forward. They soon made it to a broader part of the ledge where they hit a small opening barely big enough to crawl through but crawl they did. As the tunnel opened out she realised they were in a cave of some description, natural or man carved she couldn’t be sure but as she sat back trying to catch her breath and stop shaking from a mixture of fear and cold, she realised Zeke was no longer beside her and the walls of the cave began to come into view, it was as if cotton wool was being lifted from her eyes She was in shock, it was beautiful, she was surrounded by cushions and candles, there was even a little portably cd player that he was fiddling into life. As the shock wore off she started firing accusations at him she wondered why he had never shown her this place, why he had helped her run away, why he had looked as angry as she had felt. He soothed her woes with his responses, he reminded her how she had responded to the height getting to the tunnel and she blushed bright red, then he told her he had helped her run because it had damn near killed him to see that much pain in her eyes and if he had of stayed he may have been less than polite to her father, Then he grabbed her face, almost painfully but she didn’t dare look away or shrug him off, she just stared back into his beautiful clear blue eyes as he said those three fateful words, he told her that the reason he was so angry was because he loved her and her pain was his pain, then he kissed her again but she withdrew, unsure how to respond, anyone that had ever told her they had loved her had walked out on her not long after, her mum had virtually abandoned her the day she took up drinking, her father had done the same when he had slapped her, and even before that by not standing up to her mother and her grandparent had all gone and died on her.

She didn’t think she could bear it if he did the same. then it was as if she had a small epiphany as he risked gently kissing her on the cheek, he was the only one who had never left her, the only one who had been there whenever she had needed to run, the only one who actually cared, he wasn’t frightened off by her crazy family or her bizarre antics, he hadn’t even freaked when she had rejected him like she just had and as she stared pensievely into the candle directly in front of her and his lips crept to her neck she found herself saying that she loved him too.

They fell into each other’s arms and there clothes fell from there bodies as they rested back against the cushions they consumated a love that had previously been unexplored betweeen them and they discovered that they liked it.

It wasn’t all happy endings and butterflies though,, it ended after seveal weeks as puppy love often does and Terra never regretted that she had given it away to her best friend, she walked away from the situation with the friendship intact, it was infact stronger than ever, they never lost the friendship either and he never walked away from her. He was the one person that never let her down.


Love and light Lady Hel

#lovestory #sweet #touchofromance #cliche #fiction #rainbowsandbutterflies #shortstory

So it begins!

I would love to tell you all that I am not going to post about some of the more annoying Christmas traditions. That would be a lie! But to save your sanity I solemnly swear I will only share the elf on a shelf once a week!

Tonight I fixed up the kids advent calendar, decorated our tree and flew our Elf in, all in all a productive evening :)!

Zelf elf

( pics of tree to follow 🙂

I also love to throw a poem in from the elf, this year was no exception!

Hello Kids,

Zelf the elf is here!

You all know its that time again,

That Christmas time of year!

So dear old Santa has sent me back

To check on how you are going!

Remember best behaviour

Gets Santas greatness growing!

I will go back to Santa from time to time

So If you can’t see me near,

Remember I am not far away

Dont fret, never fear!

I wish you merry Christmas

Its awesome to be back

Keep up the great work

And soon you will see

What waits in Santas sack

Remember to not touch me

Or my magic will wear away

And don’t forget to look and see

The mischief I get up to each day

I like to move around a bit

An Elf with itchy feet

You never know where I will be next

Or who I just might meet

Thats all from me for now

Ill chat with you again

Till then remember santas watching

Through me his little friend

Your elf zelf

Peace and light

Lady Hel

#elfonashelf #elfontheshelf #zelfelf #zelf #christmas #christmas2018 #preparetobespammed #christmaswiththecrazies #loveit #funtimes #decoration #mumlife #preciousmoments #memories #makingmemories #elf #advent #christmastree #family

Tomorrow it’s Christmas

The silly season is forbidden in our house until the 1st of December… because apparently if the tree goes up before then, Christmas will be ruined.

I don’t know about this theory as Christmas to me is fairly chaotic either way! For better and worse!

I am a Christmas enthusiast though even if I am a bit of a Scrooge, the magic can’t be denied! The smiles on the little humans faces are all I need!

So needless to say, today I run around like a chook with my head chopped off organising all of the things I am yet to organise in preparation for a hopefully fabulous season!

Watch this space my friends!

Santa is on his way

Love and light

Lady Hel aka mummy kissing Santa

About the author

So I thought it might be about time I welcomed anyone playing along at home!

Lady Hel here, your friendly neighbourhood tortured arthead/ smut producer/ cooking enthusiast/ itchy foot/ mum/ Anxiety sufferer/ pin up enthusiast/ music lover. Coming to you live from a small town in rural Queensland. (Not my original base nor first preference but we get by).

Originally from Sydney, a place that dreams are made of, and systematically challenged and destroyed! I love and miss it every day but she is a man eater.

I have many passions, a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none.


I love everything about art; creating it, viewing it, discussing it and imersing myself in art culture. Tattoos, street art, photography and sculpture are my preferences but I have been known to whip out a paintbrush on occasion.


When I am feeling creative I write short erotic stories, I hope one day to produce some sort of photo illustrated adults novel of short stories, we shall see. Sometimes I write, sometimes I wish I wrote more.


I love food, eating it, writing about it, taking photos of it, feeding it to people! All of it! When travelling I love to find places that exceed my expectations, you never know I might even drop a review from time to time. I also enjoy cake decorating which to me is like art food fusion for the soul!

Itchy feet:

I love to travel when life permits! Need I say more?


I am Mum to two small humans, I dearly love them more than life! They are incredible little knowledge vessels and I love learning from and with them every day! They complete me!


Nobody is perfect! I hyper analyse everything, I am my own worst critic, some days I could drive myself insane! Grounding is so important.


I love everything about the pin up scene, the cars, clothes, music and people are an inspiration! I am lazier than I would like to be but I wish I could immerse myself more!

Music lover:

I love all forms of music, everything has its place. Rap, rock, pop, pop punk, punk, metal, classical, prog, indie, folk, funk, hardcore, trance, edm, dubstep, Disney, musical, praise music (although not religious), reggae, hip hop, blues, jazz, acoustic… give it all to me!! All of it!

Thanks for having a read! I look forward to future interactions with you all! Feel free to comment anything you would like to know! And thank you all for your support thus far!

Love and Light

Lady Hel

#tortured #artist #music #art #food #pinup #fastcars #travel #smut #anxiety #mum #me